It's often easy to fall into the trap of tourist mocking. For instance--I'm walking through the Medina, with my host family or friends, and see some other foreigners in their sneakers and backpacks, using some strange combination of languages to bargain for an overly priced item. At first, I felt a sense of kinship towards these outsiders, and might send them a friendly smile, as if to say 'we're all in this together.' Over time, I became frustrated by tourists--thinking 'how dare they come to my host country and pretend they know it so well in such a short time!' And now, when I see someone who looks tourist-y, I just hope that they will love Morocco as much as I do. Maybe they won't understand it in the same way as I do, but I hope their time here fills them with curiosity. I have been a tourist (and I still sometimes dress up as one here) and I certainly will be in the future. I know that I can't understand a place in a week or two, but that won't stop me from traveling there, and enjoying as much of it as I can.
tourist-ing around Rabat
At our orientations, we discussed how the host culture would at first seem much better than our own (honeymoon phase), then much worse, and eventually, we would enter a phase where our host culture simply seemed different. I had difficulty accepting that individuality and diversity are expressed in a very different (more subtle) way in Morocco. For instance, I don't really need a menu at most restaurants anymore, because I can predict what's going to be on it. (There are some stand outs, such as sushi restaurants, but those are fairly expensive). Most of the clothing being sold looks similar. I have seen very slight variations on the same coat in 15+ stores here. For a while, people watching didn't seem fun anymore, because I had developed the mindset that I wouldn't see anything different. Eventually, my annoyance diminished, and though I still am sometimes frustrated, I feel that I've learned how to work through my frustrations.
I can now easily answer some of the most pressing questions I had before coming here. I remember obsessing over how long my skirts should be, when in reality, the Americans are some of the only people at our school wearing long skirts. I know what I should and shouldn't wear when going out in public, and when in doubt, I throw on a djellaba until I get to my destination. I also recall wondering about what time it was acceptable to come home. I've learned that my host family won't worry until it's 7:30/8:00 P.M., but once that line is crossed and I'm not home, they will be very concerned. However, one of the best parts about being an exchange student is constant learning. From the moment I wake up to the moment my head hits the pillow, whether I am conscious of it or not, I am observing and integrating. The trajectory of cultural competence is not always upwards--some days I feel that I've taken several steps in the wrong direction--but sometimes, I am rewarded with spontaneous successes, and I am shocked by how far I have come.
158 days ago.
I had so much trouble imagining what the challenges of my exchange year would be. I imagined myself tackling the obvious challenges--making friends and learning the language--with endless enthusiasm. The biggest challenge thus far has been keeping up that enthusiasm. This year has been a lesson in patience, one I am still learning. It's hard to greet the same challenges with a smile and persistence, day after day, but to me, that what's being an exchange student means. It means that I am willing to keep trekking on, through the boring, the exciting, the frustrating, and the beautiful, because I want to feel at home here. This experience is not instantly gratifying, but in the instances when it is gratifying, it is truly incredible.
exchange makes me smile
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