Fall Reflections

Judging by the Facebook statuses popping up in my news feed, it snowed in my hometown.

Weather has a way of reminding me of the passage of time when I start to forget. On the last weekend in September, I finally experienced a rainy day in Rabat. My cheeks felt cold outside and the clouds hung low in the sky. That night, the fifth in my new host family, I cuddled up with my huge fleece blanket. As I warded off the cold, another type of chill set into my bones: that of reality. Throughout my exchange experience, reality has remained elusive. I said "I can't believe it" when I found about my acceptance, when I had one hour left in the United States, when I landed in Morocco. But on my first cold night in Morocco, I believed it: I finally felt and understood how LONG ten months is. In that moment, I understood that I would be Morocco long enough for the nights to become much colder and then warm again. The length of my exchange was tangible, real, and a little bit scary.

Now the cold feels normal, and instead of thinking about how LONG my exchange will be, I am realizing just how quickly it is flying by. Two months of this crazy adventure will have passed me by come October 31. Have I explored enough? Has my French improved enough? Have I taken advantage of this wonderful, challenging experience in as many ways as possible? These are the questions that I wonder as the rhythms of Rabat familiar to a point where they are no longer "rhythms of Rabat" but simply habits of home.

We are given finite time and infinite possibilities. Past exchange students have warned me: exchange flies by. I understand that now and I realize that my time here in Morocco will never be "enough." All I can do is make each day worthwhile, seize it in the most energetic way possible, and fill it with growth. Lately, I've been challenged to continue giving this experience the effort and dedication it merits. It's all to easy to slip into the mindset of "I have all year to do this." But if not now, when? When will I be in this situation again? When will I have chance to earn back the wasted moments? The answer is never--every moment of every day I have ever lived is "once in a lifetime." Even the most mundane, routine activities can never be experienced in the exact same way two times. These activities are infinitely more precious here in Morocco, because come June, they will take place an ocean away. The small moments are the ones I will remember when I look back on this year. I will remember chopping vegetables each night with my host mom, going to the hanut with my host sister, and burning my finger tips and tongue on cous cous. I will remember the English classes I laughed through and the walks home with the sun high in the sky. For now, I am off to create these memories, and reflect on them, keeping in mind that their existence, like my exchange, is temporary yet beautiful. Carpe Diem.