Sweet Summer!

I've only been on summer break for an hour and half and I love it already. I've ordered an Arabic textbook, a Moroccan phrase book, and a couple of French children's books as summer reading and I'm looking forward to reading those! Now that summer has arrived, Morocco seems much closer. The next time I walk into school, I'll be 4,165-ish miles away. As my countdown reminds me, I have 81 days until departure, and just 21 days until Pre Departure Orientation.

I know this summer will fly by, with work, online pre-calc, and preparing for my big adventure, but I want to slow down and take it all in. I said "see you later" to one of my best friends yesterday, as she is moving, and as I went through our many pictures together, I realized how much I will miss all my friends next year. No matter what we've done--from our awesome study groups, to early morning car pool rides, to bonfires and sleepovers--it's been a blast. As I left school, many people wished me a happy summer and good luck in Morocco. And though I hope to see many of them this summer, there are no guarantees. The future is question mark. I believe that I can maintain these friendships and I'm already making some plans for this summer. I want to cram in as many get togethers as possible, because I won't have these people in my life next year.

It amazes me that an ocean will separate from everyone and everything familiar in 81 days. I will still be myself, but in the context of an entirely different place. Truly, the only person that will be with me this whole year is myself, and who I am is continually changing. I will be independent from my parents, my extended family, my friends, and almost everyone I currently know. I read this quote (by Frederick Buechner) from a current YES-ers blog:
"You can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you." This quote reminds me that I will take everyone that I know with me, in some small way. Because who I am reflects who has been a part of my life, and I can never truly be separated from those I love. I just have to spend enough time with them to make up for all that we'll be missing next year. 

There is one group people who will be by my side throughout this journey--my fellow YES Abroaders. However, this seems to be a case of the blind leading the blind. None of us truly knows what this year will hold. We have the name of a country, and (for some of us) a town and a school. But we cannot really know what our homes will be like until we begin to create them. We do not know the challenges we will face, we only know that we will face them. Fortunately, we have the insights of our coordinators and those who have gone before us to reassure us that this experience will both challenge us and reward us in unimaginable ways. These voices assure me that I will be challenged in ways I cannot know or understand yet. As I prepare for my year abroad, I look beside me--to my 64 fellow finalists-- and in front of me--to those people who have already gone abroad-- for guidance, comfort, and wisdom. I am comforted by the realization that we are going through many of the same emotions--from homesickness before we've even left, to anxiety about our new homes, to overwhelming excitement and gratitude for the gift we have been given. 

Sunday, August 25 is 81 days away. That is a little more than two months. 81 days to appreciate all I have taken for granted in the past 16 years. 81 days to hug my family. 81 days to prepare for the hardest (but hopefully best) year of my life thus far. 81 days to learn how to say goodbye to all that is familiar, and 81 days to hope and dream about Morocco. I have 81 days to make the world inside of me as bright, vivid, and strong as possible, and 81 days to pack that world into a myself and one suitcase. I don't want to waste a single moment. Until next time, ma'a salaama!