The Road to Acceptance

It’s weird to think that the future I’ve thought about for so long is now happening! 

I found out about this scholarship April 27, 2012. It is now March 2013. Rereading my journal, I am in shock of how far I have come.

April 27, 2012 “Found a scholarship, to study in Muslim majority nations, one of which is Morocco. I never considered Morocco. It’s an amazing program, but only 55 kids get to go. Eek scary competitive!” 

May 22 “more obsession. I think I believe in myself. I want to apply NOW, not in the fall, NOW. Portage, it’s been fun, it’s been real, it’s been real fun. But there’s a world out there I am dying to see, a world beyond all of this. I don’t want to be set in my ways before it’s too late.”

May 27 “I want it so bad, but it’s so hard to get. I really really want the YES scholarship, so bad. But it’s so hard to get. I want it, I want it, I want it know and I want it bad! 

6th day of trail “Things that I am grateful for- YES Abroad, sunsets, conversations, laughter, food, roofs.” 

August 11th “I’m realized how slim my chances of getting this are. The confidence I felt in the spring? No longer. I need to believe in myself, I want that notification. I have no idea what to say besides please pick me, you won’t regret it. I want to post “I’m a semifinalist” I want to go to Denver, I want to be part of that picture, I want this like I’ve never wanted anything in my entire life. This is my BIGGEST WILDEST DREAM.” 

October 20 “I have choices, and the choices are purely my own. I know what I want and I want this so bad, and I really hope they can see that. 

November 12 “I started my YES apps and I feel good” 

January 7 “Submitted my YES app while playing Hindi music and wearing an Indian scarf.” 

February 1 “I desperately want to meet Allie, Dani and Sarah. I want the chance to prove myself. Plus, let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to spend three days in a hotel with other amazing students who are JUST LIKE ME but also really different! Flying all by myself? So exciting! 

February 28 “I hoped and dreamed and omigod, I did it. I am a YES semifinalist. Today was the most agonizing thing…I was waiting all day, knowing it would come. I laughed and cried and I checked my email and there was no sign of it.At 7:39, we sat down to watch Downton Abbey. Mom looked at her phone and she handed me the phone, and there it was “we are pleased to inform you that…” I fell down, screamed, I don’t even know. I am going to IPSE! I am a semifinalist for the scholarship of my dreams! 54.16% chance of getting it now!  Nobody can take this feeling away from me, this joy. I am incredibly numb, proud, excited and exhilarated to continue this process.” 

March 22 "I made it here. I found my people and I'm exhausted. Everyone is absolutely amazing and I just need to be my best self and remember I was born to do this."

March 23 "Today was the best day of my life. Make no exaggeration, I have such faith in this generation, these people, this scholarship and even in myself." 

March 24 "So it's over. I'm sitting in the airplane and I feel like no time has passed and yet I've gone through the same changes that take months in real life. I can honestly say my life has been changed for good." 

April 4 "Missed IPSE. Thought about YES. Talked about YES. Breathed YES. I know this isn't healthy, but I forget how to not think of YES. It's killing me."

April 12 "Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I am a finalist to Morocco."

It’s weird in the best way possible to live something you’ve dreamed about so many times, to actually experience the moments you’ve envisioned.  It’s surreal, and I still can’t believe I am one of 65 teens from across the nation selected to live in a YES country next year. Even at the In Person Selection event, we felt more like a long lost tribe than cutthroat competitors and it’s finally starting to sink in that this is real, that I’m going to get to do so many things that I’ve dreamed of doing. To have met these people, to know that there are people out there who are just like me, and to call them my friends means just as much as any scholarship ever could.